French fries, mixed drinks, and weirdness

I remember my mother always saying, "They all have the same flavor," whether it be lite ranch or not, I could ALWAYS taste the difference.

Growing up it took me a while to get used to new foods and even then there are a few vegetables and things I refuse to eat.

Texture is a real thing in foods for me. 

My parents had an apple tree at our old house and it was my job to pick up the rotten apples off of the grass. There was many times that they were so rotten they would turn into mush and I can distinctly remember getting apple "gook" on my fingers and freaking out.

I got pretty creative picking up the rotten apples. My dad would always say "just pick them up real fast with your hands and you'll be ok. The more you have your little tricks, the longer it will take!"

I couldn't do fun things until my chores were done. 

One thing I distinctly remember, beyond the feel, is the smell. The sickly sweet rotten smell of wet apple would give me the shivers. When we harvested the apples, my mother would make apple sauce for food storage. It was always fun to help her can things (especially salsa) but when it comes to apple sauce....I cannot stand anything about it.

If one has never made homemade applesauce it is quite a process. You have to cook the apples up so they are soft and mushy. Then you take them out of the boil process and then put it into an archaic torture device and squish the apples through the hole. At one end of the machine the apple seeds, core, stem and skin comes out to be thrown away. The applesauce mush comes out through a sluice. 

The reason why I hate applesauce and cooked apples (hell even apple pie...as my husband says I am weird), is the texture. When making applesauce the smell of rotten, wet, cooked apples becomes aroma-ticized and it permeates the house. My mom tried to make me try the hot applesauce as it came out the machine (It is one of those things...if it is not meant to be eaten hot...I DON'T WANT TO EAT IT HOT!!!!) 

It would make me gag...any type of cooked fruit makes me gag now. The texture is too funky and slimy and sends me back to my apple picking days and I have horrible memories. 

Another weirdness with me is rating my favorite french fry places. It was one of the funnest dates I would ever do. We would go to five or six of the best fast food joints in town and order small orders of fries. Then we would rate them on how good they were and whether we wanted to eat more. It was super simplistic but holy OMG it was so much fun and it was fun to rate things. You got to know people really well and talk about random crap while doing it.

*In case you were wondering, my favorite french fries are from Arctic Circle. I like how they hold up to dipping and they are never super salty.

*My favorite sit down restaurant fries are those from the Grecian Key downtown. The steak fries are delicious and I really like bigger fries in general.

---and not to mention fried cheese curds...those are sooo good!

All french fries have to be eaten with ranch (and not all ranch is the same). It is a toss up between two different brands. One is the Litehouse Homestyle Ranch, but the other is oddly from Walmart and it is called Wild Coyote Ranch. 

-Best sit down ranch is from Applebees and Buffalo Wild Wings

-Best fast food ranch is from Jimmy Johns (their zesty ranch is to die for and holy cow....SO GOOD)

Mixed drinks

Now the types of mixed drinks I am talking about are the non alcoholic kinds. There has been a craze of mixed non alcoholic soda drinks that has exploded. Places like the Drink Factory or Soda Barn, Soda Craze...basically any name one can think of associated to drinks or soda. The premise is this, a business has a fountain put into their store and buys every popular drink flavoring known to man. These drink flavors can be like Torani, DaVinci, and numerous others. They put a squirt in a soda drink and make their own signature names.

I am of the small portion of people in the world who really likes Diet Mountain Dew. I discovered a really good combination of Diet Dew with Green Apple and I am addicted. I like the sour flavor and hell the bubbles are delicious.

Everyone says that fountain drinks from gas stations are all created equal...I submit that they are not! My favorite gas station fountain is from Maverick...and my favorite soda shop is the Drink Factory in Blackfoot, but the Soda Barn in Pocatello is a really close second.

I don't know why I felt like writing this but I thought it would be fun to let people glimpse at my weirdness. 

The hidden door: A tale of a young knight

*A little sidebar. My son is using his imagination right now and creating his own worlds. I am in love with how adventurous he has become and how he uses his imagination. My mother told me for years that I was the same way. I would create stories out of inanimate objects. Here is a story I created of his adventures.

The hot day did nothing to deter the little knight from his quest. He noticed the table in the corner was broken and needed his architectural skills. He used his ever-growing bag of tools to fix the table and started putting them away in the chest. 

This was then, when he noticed the white door. It was innocuous and most people when traveling across the realm, their eyes would slide over the wall and the little knight believed no one else could see it but him. He snuck by the queen and grabbed the sparkly keys on the table and ran back to the door. None of the keys seemed to work. 

The little knight got frustrated. Each time he tried a new key, ten new keys popped up in its place. Finally, the little knight sat down getting discouraged. As he stared at the lock, he noticed a ridiculously small design near the lock. It looked like a fingerprint, but it was the same size as his fingers. He smiled and laughed heartily. He popped up off the floor and tried one of the Queen's keys again. This time he tucked the finger of his other hand under the lock on top of the design. As he did so a resultant click of the white door unlocking meant he had finally got it open!

He pushed the door open to find the gateway to another world. As he walked through the door, he noticed everything was like one of his books! He walked out into the world behind the door. When he shut the door behind them, he noticed HIS door had melted into the bark of a tree. He could see the little insignia of his fingerprint. The little knight knew this was his adventure.

He walked into town when he found the people were all scared! They were being destroyed by two vicious creatures. A dragon and a vicious tiger had been picking off villagers and destroying the buildings. The little knight looked around and asked if he could be of service. Even though he was little, he was pure of heart and knew he could help the village. 

He was pointed in the direction of the mountains nearby. The dangerous creatures made their way into town from that direction. The little knight made sure he had his sword and shield and ran off in the direction of the mountain. He was enveloped by the rancid smell of animals as he got closer. The ground started shaking underneath his feet. Even though he had felt an earthquake, the ground shaking was not an earthquake. It was more like the shaking of when something big falls. The little knight moved closer and found an interesting sight. A brown dragon with spikes was on his back and was fast asleep. That was not the weirdest thing. On his belly, which was radiating warmth, was the head of a completely black tiger. They were both asleep and seemed to enjoy each other's company. The little knight steeled his courage and moved closer.

As he got close enough to smell. The tiger and dragon opened their eyes and looked at him with curiosity. They had never smelled or ever seen such a small knight. Even though the dragon loved eating humans, he did not think he could eat such a little knight. The tiger started purring. He got up and moved closer to the little knight. The knight froze waiting to see if he was in danger. He did not feel like he was in danger but could not be sure. The tiger moved until the knight could feel his warm breath on his face. He stared at the green eyes of the tiger, not showing he was afraid. The tiger lolled his tongue out and licked the small knight from his chin to his hair. The little knight giggled.

The little knight knew he could not hurt these guys. Yet he knew he was tasked with taking care of the village. He sat down and thought about it until his brain was sore. He had an idea that might work well for everyone. As he explained his idea the dragon and tiger looked at each other with a grin. When night fell, the little knight beckoned to the dragon and tiger to follow him. 

He made his way on the outskirts of town keeping to the line of the trees. With each move they got closer to the secret door. Finally, the little knight reached the door and placed his fingers on the little mark. A door opened inwards, as he was beckoning to the dragon and tiger, he heard a rallying cry from the villagers. They had heard them moving around the trees and knew something was afoot. They did not want to see the dragon and tiger leave. The villagers ran as fast as their feel could carry them. The little knight knew he had to act. He pushed the tiger through the door. The dragon got stuck on his spikes and his toes got stuck. He roared trying to get loose. Finally, he slipped through the door. The little knight shut the door behind him as he yelled, "Sorry!" He was back in his own little world.

He was startled by something rubbing up against his leg. The little knight saw a full black kitten with green eyes gazing up at him. Climbing up his leg he also saw a little brown bearded dragon. He giggled and clapped his hands, glad his little creatures made it! He made his way home to the queen with his new pets. 

They named the bearded dragon Frank, or Frankie to the little knight. The cat, although feisty, was named Ichabod after the Queen's favorite character. They lived happily ever after...until the next adventure.