Tuesday, June 23, 2026

Occult and Religion: You CAN do both


Growing up in a religion creates feelings of community as well as ones of inadequacy. It becomes an interesting mix as one grows up and begins having their own existential crisis. These situations create an amalgamation of feelings that need to be felt, discovered, and dealt with as one gets older. It is no wonder that many who grow up within secular religions, find peace in personal explorations of the occult or nature crafts. It becomes a way for someone to discover their personal feelings in a personal and spiritual way. 


Looking at the feeling of community growing up, it can be a major boon for people. One grows up with children their own age with similar values. Many children’s activities create a space where children can learn and grow in a way where they are protected and looked after. Many single parent households could not have survived without these communities to rely upon.


When one has a community with similar values and feelings it creates a bubble from the outside world. Anyone not within the bubble is looked on as a threat or an unwanted figure. Many fights arise when children who are within the bubble learn the difference between us and them. Some are forced to choose us OR them. It becomes a battle in some instances. That drama can create feelings of inadequacy which destroys the view of the bubble.


One interesting thing is people have started to go back to the old religions or the occult to feel a connection to history and ancestry. It becomes a way to connect to the inner turmoil and understand the difference between spirituality and religion. 

 

Where to turn? Occult history


The word occult can be defined as, “matters regarded as involving the action or influence of the supernatural or secret knowledge of them.” This definition is rather dry. Other dictionaries place it more into the realm of, “not being detectable by clinical methods alone,” or “not easily apprehended or understood: hidden from view,” or “come to terms with a disenchanted world,” by some instances, not revealed. It is beyond scientific understanding. 


In today’s day and age, anything within the occult are considered forms of divination, mysticism, rituals and ritual magic, and esoteric sciences. Basically in its simplest terms, anything that covers cosmic or spiritual mysteries. It was a way to distinguish oneself from other groups. This is a generalized view, but in today’s world, the occult is a way to practice mysticality in a world of rigid rules and thoughts. It is bringing back that feeling of magic one felt as a child. 


Spirituality and the Earth magics fall under this purview. The world is continuously trying to expand into areas where mother nature has taken root. It is a worry that technology will destroy everything natural and well made. There is that environmental prophecy from Alanis Obomsawin, “When the last tree is cut, the last fish is caught, and the last river is polluted; when to breathe the air is sickening, you will realize too late that wealth is not in bank accounts and that you cannot eat money.” It is a sobering thought when one delves into it. Mother Nature holds a delicate balance between destruction and growth, if too much growth happens, fires come and cull things back. No trees lead to mud and rock slides, over farming leads to dust, lack of trees leads to loss of oxygen…the cycle continues. It is no wonder that natural magics are being looked into because of inflation and a lack of caring within the world.


Natural magics and the occult, help people return back to the world and create a way to become more symbiotic with it again.


The argument:

Traditional religious groups often view divination and the occult as a departure from true faith, as these practices shift one's focus toward magical influences instead of keeping it solely on a higher power. In certain circles, like the Catholic Church, tools such as tarot are dismissed as superstition because they place trust in hidden forces rather than divine authority. There is also a strong desire to avoid the "appearance of sin," where even a curious interest in the esoteric is seen as a betrayal of shared values that could cause a scandal. This tension is heightened by the "bubbles" these communities create; when a group is built on rigid rules, anything outside the norm is treated as a threat, often forcing people to choose between their community and their own spiritual curiosity.


Conversely, those who turn to the occult and divination often view these practices as a necessary reclamation of personal agency rather than a rejection of sacred values. For many practitioners, engaging with ritual or nature-based magic is a way to bridge the gap between a disenchanted modern world and a deeper, intuitive sense of mystery. By stepping outside the rigid boundaries of established rules they seek to build a private, symbiotic relationship with the natural world—viewing elements like the environment, cyclical history, and the self as living, accessible forces. In this light, the occult serves not as an adversarial power, but as a tool for personal healing and spiritual curiosity, allowing individuals to reintegrate the "magic" of existence that they feel has been eroded by modern alienation.


Can it be possible to have both? YES

Many people who turn to the occult and divination find that instead of turning away from their established religion from growing up, one can blend both together. There are those within the traditional religions who would frown upon this duality, feigning that, “no man can serve two masters.” 


This comes to a personal example. Growing up, I was (and still am) a part of the LDS faith. I am ashamed to admit that my time in the culture and bubble of us vs. them created a bit of a monster within myself. As I grew up and began to question the truths, I was able to connect to the spirit. I felt that where I was was important and I have always felt that I was in the right spot. What I didn’t really feel was the human nature aspect of it. A quote from Angels and Demons always felt quite appropriate for me, “Religion is flawed because man is flawed.” You are welcome to believe how you want to believe and feel the spirit reveal it to you…don’t just do it because man says to you have to. It is all about belief.

I also work within the realm of the occult or divination or spiritual side. I do not feel like this goes against the LDS faith because it has helped me become a better, more spiritually inclined person. I read tarot personally as well as professionally for people. I don’t follow your average readings, it comes more from an intuitive side.


Historically, tarot was a game for people in the aristocracy. The cards were used as a way to craft stories and tell the future. Fun albeit harmless. Today, there are numerous readers who read the rote definitions of the cards. There is nothing wrong with that method. 


As for me, I read tarot from an intuitive standpoint. I learned that the tarot follows a storyline. I could see the story and what the symbolism revealed. A mixture of psychology from Carl Jung, where he shows how the tarot symbolism helps the brain connect from the ego to the subconscious. I view the tarot as a tool to help people find clarity in choices in front of them, just like writing a journal or free writing would do. It helps connect the brain to the subconscious. 


There are times when the cards create those intuitive leaps, where my brain focuses on tiny aspects over the bigger picture. Many times these intuitive leaps are what the querent (the people who ask the question) needs to hear or know. I know with some it feels like magic, but to me, it's the brain getting clarity through viewing pictures.


There are those outlier readers, occultists, etc who actually work with energies that are along the negative spectrum. I do not deny that these energies exist, but I choose to stay away from the more negative energies. I believe that there truly is evil and if one goes against one's nature and searches for ways to harm others there are some very real consequences.


Human nature is a balance of dark and light. We cannot hope to stay bright and cheery, without understanding our shadow self. The shadow is not darkness, it is just our programming that has grown from youth. As adults we need to understand all of us if we hope to find true balance.


I truly feel that a person can be a part of organized religion and feel the spirit, as well as take part in rituals and energies from more occult paths. Occult doesn’t mean evil. The way I feel it is, the spirit that comes from the LDS church is more bright and warming towards the soul, heart, and mind. I have felt spirituality and different energies when out in the world. For example, when I visited the memorial for 9/11 in New York. There was a wall of static energy that hit me. It was like being in the middle of a room of screaming people or white noise. I couldn’t shut it out. I believe that people who pass away in pain and terror, tend to leave behind traces…and when it is done so in such a concentrated area...I could feel it. 


On a side note, when I went to the graveyard near St. Patrick’s, I could feel that there were energies there but they were more subdued, like travelers who pass you by. It is the same way with new people you meet or places where your skin gets goosebumps or your hair rises…you don’t know why you feel that way but something feels off. This is the energies and the subconscious speaking to you through visceral reactions. That is what I believe. 


Everyone is free to believe what they want to believe. Organized religion is flawed because man is flawed. Doctrine and spirituality can be attained when one truly wants to know. I believe that our energies become transmuted when we die. We exist on a new plane of existence. I also believe that if you do harm to others and are a complete jerk, you will reap your own consequences.


You believe how you want to believe, love who you want to love, do what makes you happy…THAT is what matters. No one deserves to be ostracized for being different or an outlier. You are a creation and a masterpiece, act like it. Just like in a museum, your viewpoint about the art will be different from other people. You have your view, they have theirs. No one is wrong or right about them. If you decide to destroy those beautiful pieces of art…the consequences will come to you for your actions.


You can be both.


Monday, March 30, 2026

When the scale causes more issues...Growing up and the issues that arise from early obsessions with food tracking, weight etc.

Good day dear reader. I felt that I needed to vent some things into the void. I saw a post on Facebook about a mother who wanted to start their kid on a weight loss app....and just like that ALL the crap from my childhood came flooding back.


I need to give some obscure history with my life and family. I am the youngest and as such, there was a few times that my elder siblings believed I was spoiled...and honestly, I probably was. I just didn't know any better. I don't think my upbringing was bad per say....I had a home with food to eat and parents who didn't beat me. I was held to high standards and as such, sometimes felt compared to my other siblings who things came easier for. 

My mother has always been a fairly health-conscious person. She would constantly go to the gym, eat healthily, devote her time to things that were important. Unfortunately, I fell under the category of the runt of the litter (The one with the most health/body size issues). When I was a kid, things seemed easier. But once puberty started making itself known, my mother decided the whole family needed to join a weight loss venture called Shape-Up. We had to read books, weigh ourselves constantly (or at least that is what it felt like), and write down everything we ate. We would go to these classes once a week...I think. Nothing worse than having an older lady use a flexible tape measuring tape around your middle and criticize your inches. 




Some of the more scar inducing quotes that have been in my brain since youth are things like this, "you are grazing all the time (when having a snack), suck in your tummy, you are getting flabby, if you just exercised....or walked...you could lose your middle." Not to mention a complete hatred of the clothes I would wear...I absolutely abhorred scratchy clothes, jeans etc. I would prefer to wear stuff that was comfy. Not to mention my mother would constantly talk about my belly when I wore a tighter shirt. I would also be talked about my gait. I would walk with my toes pointed outward slightly. I would be constantly berated on how I walked (EVEN TODAY!!!!) she talked about how I walked like a duck. For years I have always watched how I walked making sure I wouldn't make any noise to cause her to look at my feet. 

*As an adult, I have finally found a zen/clothing that makes me feel a little more me. I feel confident and I like the style I have. 

After the Shape-Up class was ended, it was a constant barrage of sucking it in, weighing myself, getting berated when I was hungry. In high school I went through a phase of anorexia....or at least as much as I could. I wouldn't eat and would constantly write down what I consumed. I tried to do ab work out as much as possible. I would go to the classes my mom wanted me to. I would go to the gym. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror because I would constantly hear my mom's critique. To this day I am still having trouble recognizing when I need to eat...not to mention the joy of chronic nausea. 

I didn't fit the mold...my BMI was bigger than kids my age...and WHY CAN'T YOU LOSE WEIGHT! was a consistent reminder from my mom. I would go to the gym like a good little girl to show my mom that I am not ignoring her...bla bla bla, trying to win her acceptance with who I am. 

When I got into college, there were some discoveries of the health variety. A heart rate that was abnormally high, thyroid issues, gall bladder poisoning and gastroparesis. 

It wasn't until I was in my 30's until I found out I had PCOS with all the joyful additions of insulin resistance. So, it is basically IMPOSSIBLE to lose weight in the normal ways. I have gastroparesis and cannot afford to do things out of pocket for weight loss drugs (It would cause a slew of other issues in my already weird body).

Honestly, I feel that if my mother had created a safe place where it actually felt ok to be a little bigger and didn't fit the mold, I would be less neurotic when it comes to food and weight. 

I just want to say, I am not blaming her and even though it still is tough. I know that (I) have to be happy with myself....and I think I am getting to that point. I have a husband who treats me well and loves my curves. I am healthy and I am learning how to speak up for myself when it comes to medical weigh ins etc. 

Now, I focus on doing exercise my way (When my plantar fasciitis plays nice). I exercise by doing dancing on Dance Central on my Xbox 360. I also do the Figure 8 routines from Body FX. I loved doing dancing and hip-hop. Because it didn't fit the mold of exercise in my mom's view...I would usually have to give it up (There were other underlying reasoning...and I am sure the money was an issue too.) I don't go to a gym or pay a monthly fee. I exercise in ways that make me happy. 

To this day....I hate weight loss "recommendations"

(Yes, I love Shane Koyczan)





Thursday, January 15, 2026

New Year: Writing more and frustrations galore

Believe it or not dear reader, I have a degree in journalism. I worked for years on newspapers, crafting articles, and going to the theater to help the local community know what was going on. I loved everything about those jobs.

As of now, I am the managing editor for a metaphysical magazine. It is a great experience for me. I am not paid to do any of it, but the rewards are felt in other ways. I am learning more about psychology through the use of visuals and I get to contact people who are in the field. I have learned what it takes to build a magazine, as well as general language skills being polished. Through this job, I have been able to have a book published with my co-author (the CEO of the company). That is one thing I never thought I would get to in my 30's. https://a.co/d/0RkBxGB

Honestly, I miss having my own column about emergency preparedness and imparting wisdom about how to survive. I have been doing a lot of research when it comes to ChatGPT. I think it is a valuable tool for helping keep things straight, but those people who are using it to write articles, books, and other language filled items...it is a form of cheating. Academic dishonesty was one of those things that I couldn't believe other people would do. Copy things word for word...paste off the internet...and pass things off as their own. Yes, there is a way to properly citate things that have been used, but blatant stealing...that is just wrong. Using any form of AI to completely write something and pass it off as your own is a form of cheating. No one is learning anything. I shudder to think what will happen if people continue to pass it off as their own.


And yes...I do love memes. But now on to the health frustrations.

As many people have surmised, I have a significant amount of health issues and each of them cause delightful things to happen to me. I see a few separate doctors to keep all my levels fairly normal. My list is thus, (Insulin resistant PCOS, Celiacs, Lactose Intolerance, Chronic Nausea, Sleep Apnea, Thyroid Issues, Plantar Fasciitis, Tinnitus, Gastroparesis, TMJ, and more). I recently have been working with my Endocrinologist to discuss what is needed. 

It is always disheartening to hear from a doctor..."You will not lose any weight with the slew of issues facing you right now...and yet losing weight will help resolve a few of them." I already have a lot of issues with losing weight and food growing up and anxiety to boot...so it has become a real issue. However, this endo has been a dream. He has actually helped me find a method that will help reduce my insulin resistance (my A1c and all that jazz is completely normal). 

And because I am a human with kids living paycheck to paycheck...even with health insurance, I couldn't afford any of those fancy weight loss injections (which in case you didn't know...can cause gastroparesis or make it even worse.) I don't wish that gunk on anyone so I was adamant on no injections and surgery would not help either. We found something that I could take every day that would not bat heads with any of my other medications and would not make my stuff worse. Hopefully, my insurance will cover it partially. Thank heavens for good doctors who actually LISTEN.

Thank you for reading my rant. Have a lovely week, month, and year. New writings will be coming your way soon.