***Now this idea came about after yet again getting frustrated with a local graphic arts/print company in town.
My mother received the news that I had a huge head when I was in vitro. Out of all of her other kids, she had normal births, but doctors were worried there was extra fluid on my brain causing my head to be huge.
When I was born the doctors yet again spoke to my mother about putting me through surgery to reduce my head size. They were worried I may never be able to crawl because my head was larger than average.
As my mother can attest I zoomed around the house like any normal child. However, the one thing that was frustrating was my mom had to cut out the onesie shirt collars because my head wouldn't go through the hole. (No Biggie Right?)
This is a photo of me as a baby. And yes Marshall gets his curlies from this grandma.
OK- Now growing up and learning to get my own style, I always wanted to try those really cute girly hats that most girls wear. And I can remember on more than one occasion my mother shoving hats on my heads, determined that ONE SIZE FITS ALL (I have noticed they have chanced that moniker to One Size Fits Most) meant it would fit on my head.
I remember many tears and frustrations because I couldn't wear any women's/girl's hats.
If that wasn't embarrassing enough, I liked to try different sports. I went from Tap, Hip-Hop, Jiu-Jitsu (Which I loved....Hell I loved Hip-Hop too), and then I found a love in baseball/softball.
I really loved running and having fun, but then came the dreaded time to wear baseball helmets. My head did not fit in any of the youth league so I had to borrow an adult one....Luckily my coach was a kick-butt kinda guy and stopped anyone from teasing me about it.
Now onto adulthood-My saving grace came in the form of the fit flex hats that were created for most baseball teams. I was so happy cause they would fit on my head and THEY DIDNT HURT!!!!
Now I am sure a couple of you are like...why not the trucker hats? Those work really well for other people....They don't work because of a ladder incident when I was little
Sidebar: We were invited to see the airplane of a guy in our ward. He was one of those guys who was so cool and did whatever the hell he wanted..cause he could. Well, my mom was invited and took me and my big sister to check it out. I thought it was really cool. As he was explaining to my mom about the intricacies of his plane (Hell I have no clue what they were talking about). My sister climbed up to look at the inside of the plane, and I decided to climb up a little way and sit on the steps of the ladder. I had hooked my feet behind the rung below me, I had no idea why I did, Somehow I lost my balance on the ladder and tried to take out my feet before I fell....All I remember was the distinct floor of the airport...different water rocks cemented together for a better wheel grip. Not so much for little girls' headers into the floor.
For years my big sister thought she had pushed me and I had to reassure her that I distinctly remember wrapping my feet behind the rung. Oddly enough that part is as clear as day.
Well, my second (Or fifth...I was accident-prone) time in the hospital ended up with rocks being picked out of my skull, lots of stitches, and a hairline fracture to my skull.
Long Story Short (lol TOO LATE) I have scar tissue in my forehead that makes my head a little too weird-shaped for Trucker Caps...One button is either too tight and makes my head hurt, or else the inside of the cap isn't big enough to accommodate my head size. I hate having long hair so the pony tale thing doesn't work either.
SCIENTIFIC MUMBO JUMBO-
The average circumference of an adult skull is...(21-23 inches for a woman and 22-24 for man) Now my head circumference is about 25 inches.
Average Woman's hat size is 21.5-22.25 inches....Yet again off the charts for me
Average ONE SIZE FITS MOST is between 22 to 23 7/8 inches....Yet again...DOES NOT FIT
SO as you can imagine the discussions about my big head drive me up the freaking wall.
When I was pregnant with the boy, Ron and I discussed the prospect of having big-headed boy....and for Ron, it was "At least its better to have a big head as a guy." AND you know what? It is totally true! Women want to wear pretty hats and do hair in fun beautiful ways. Guys don't really care.
So when the dr came in and was like..."Who has the big head?" My eyes rolled so far back in my head I could see the brain. I said..."Right here." They did all the tests and everything and concluded the boy had a big head but there weren't any issues.
When little man was born...I felt like my mom. Had to find some onesies that worked well for his head (kimono onesies are a lifesaver,) and not to mention, Breaking out all the stitching or even cutting the collar in some of his shirts.
Right now the boy is in boys' clothes and forever was off the charts for his head size. He may only be a 4 year old but his head size...He can wear medium-large adult, and even the one size fits most adult-sized hats. The Genes Strike Again!
See even his Halloween costume didn't fit his head....Sigh
Back to Now: I haven't had a ton of issues as an adult. I know which hats work well for my head and I have even had some specially made for me from Alston Ink because they have awesome crews!
Ok, so what got me so miffed that I had to write this story is, My new job at Prime Time Auctions has been such a blessing. After a hostile takeover at the Morning News, I was out of work for about a month and went batty. They were looking for a cataloger and I applied and got it!
My boss is really cool. They treat us really well, they have little snacks and drinks for all who are working and this last week they decided to do a big order of new shirts and whatnot.
When I heard they were ordering truckers hats (EEEK) I asked her if I could order some of the flex fit hats for me because the other hats don't fit. She was all for it and since the graphics place had the hats in stock...WHAT COULD GO WRONG?!?
Apparently quite a bit. One of the hat types was out of stock and wouldn't be in for about a year. So I went with the general fit. HOWEVER, This was not the end of it.
I get a message from the girl ordering that the hat I chose, and the size, come bigger than thought so she ordered me a medium. (SOUND OF CRASHING CARS AND BRAIN FREEZE ALL IN ONE)
So I backpedaled. I had to explain in great detail that the size I ordered is EXACTLY the one I wanted. The medium-large would totally hurt my freaking head. After a few rolled eyes and vehemently explaining it...I am hoping the graphics company listens and orders my hats the right way. One might see a headline, Irate customer staples hats to owner's foreheads...LOL Honestly, I would never.
After getting steamed and frustrated for the rest of the night...I figured I would write about it. Get some stream of consciousness venting out.
